


Helianthus

by SEpupppupp (ForNought)



Category: JBJ (Band), Produce 101 (TV), Rainz (Korea Band)
Genre: Crushes, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, basically rainz and jbj (and insoo) 'studying' and then going to the arcade, it is a weekend or something, it's a highschool au but they do not step foot in a school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-01-30 20:47:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12661128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForNought/pseuds/SEpupppupp
Summary: prompt 195: High school AU, Sunghyuk has a massive crush on his senior, Seongri, but Hyunmin's determined to make his friend notice someone else likes him too.





	Helianthus

“I’m not completely undateable, am I?” Hyunmin asked Daehyeon as they waited.

He thought himself lucky that they were the first two of their group of friends to arrive at the library. They weren’t the most studious members of the group so that might have indicated their desperation to pull up their grades to something passable. Hyunmin thought it was about time he had some good news to tell his mum so he had woken up early to make sure he got to the library on time. Initially he had been disappointed that he couldn’t get a head-start with Daehyeon who was in equally a precarious position as himself, but he liked Daehyeon. They always had a laugh, so Hyunmin thought he could trust Daehyeon with this too.

Daehyeon looked up and down the street before slumping back against the wall and sighing. “Look, Hyunmin, I’m sure you’re a great guy who can be good-looking with some filters in the right lighting but I don’t see you like that. I’m flattered, but it would never work.”

Hyunmin had been feeling a bit nervous about addressing the subject but after hearing something like that he was glad to have an excuse to punch Daehyeon’s arm and release some of his nerves.

“I’m not asking you out,” Hyunmin grumbled.

“Oh good,” Daehyeon said. “I thought you had forgotten that we go to an all-boys school and I happen to know what an actual good-looking guy looks like.”

Hyunmin didn’t even have it in him to punch Daehyeon again, not when Daehyeon was grinning like the idiot he was at the picture of Wontak that he had oddly chosen for the home screen on his phone. There was no need for Hyunmin to get physical when seeing Daehyeon’s stupidity was this painful.

“Does Wontak-hyung know what you do with his pictures?” Hyunmin asked.

“What are you trying to say? Whatever he posts on his Instagram is public property,” Daehyeon retorted.

Hyunmin was eighty percent sure that was not the case but no matter what he said about that he was sure that Daehyeon would find a way to pretend to prove himself right. Daehyeon was tricky like that and Hyunmin knew better than expect actual sense from him.  

“Let’s forget that you’re horrible,” Hyunmin said. “If you weren’t mean and evil, would you think it would be possible for anyone - not you, I’m not asking about you specifically - to want me to be their boyfriend.”

Daehyeon raised an eyebrow and pushed up the glasses he must only have worn to pretend he was as studious as some of their other friends. “You’ve never cared about this stuff before.”

That wasn’t true. Hyunmin had cared about a lot of this stuff before. His first two loves had happened (tragically unrequited) in the past few years at his taekwondo club. First was Taemi who wasn’t around that often these days because she had outgrown calling Hyunmin cute and patting him on the head to rub shoulders with Hollywood producers and occasionally reappeared to show off a tan and some names that she kept forgetting to pick up. Second was Minji who developed a habit of staring at Hyunmin like he was a horrific swamp monster who only learnt taekwondo to trick people into forgetting that he wasn’t one of the Ong Seongwoos of the world.

Ong Seongwoo was the third of Hyunmin’s very brief first loves which began when Hyunmin saw him from afar on the first day of school and ended the minute Hyunmin pretended to ask him for directions and he found himself accosted with puns that didn’t make any sense. The thing was, Hyunmin had totally been interested in ‘this stuff’ for ages. He wasn’t disgustingly handsome (with a weird sense of humour) and he wasn’t pretty and famous and jet-setting around the world, but he thought he deserved something like the companionship he craved.

He had kept his question vague because he didn’t want Daehyeon to cotton on - the risk of Daehyeon working out that Hyunmin had a specific person in mind for the hypotheticals of finding him a good prospective boyfriend was extremely low but Hyunmin didn’t want to take too many chances - but it might have been a mistake because Daehyeon wasn’t the best at putting himself in other people’s shoes.  

“I’m just interested,” Hyunmin said. It was better to give up on this and ask someone else later.

Daehyeon hummed disinterestedly. “You’re not the ugliest person I have ever seen or anything, Hyunmin. If I was into short weirdos you would be top of my list of boyfriends.”

“I’m not short, we’re the same height,” Hyunmin whined. Daehyeon widened his eyes and pocketed his phone as he rose to his tiptoes.

“I don’t think so.”

“We are the same height!” Hyunmin insisted as he stretched himself as tall as he could. He knew that Daehyeon was right but he did have some pride. That pride manifested itself in a bout of pushing and shoving as Daehyeon jostled him back until Daehyeon stumbled into someone. That someone, luckily, was Sunghyuk so Hyunmin didn’t have to feel too bad about ruining the day of a stranger. Though Sunghyuk didn’t look to happy as he blinked up at Hyunmin looking dazed.

“What are you two doing?” Sunghyuk asked crossly. He looked over his shoulder but Wontak and Kiwon (who had managed to avoid the projectile Daehyeon) were not prepared to fuss over him. Kiwon was smiling warmly on as Wontak crouched down and curled his hard around the back of Daehyeon’s neck. Sunghyuk frowned at Hyunmin and pulled himself up and dusted off his clothes.

Hyunmin reacted a bit too slowly and tried to help but Sunghyuk slapped his hands away.

“What are you doing, Hyunmin?”

“Is this not good?” Hyunmin asked.

“Of course not!” Sunghyuk cried. “Please leave my bum alone!”

Hyunmin hadn’t thought he had touched Sunghyuk’s bum all that much. He had just noticed a patch of dust, that was all. The proximity was coincidental but his apology didn’t shift the furrow of Sunghyuk’s eyebrows. It did, however, earn a snort from Kiwon who grinned guiltily when Sunghyuk and Hyunmin glared at him. He spread his hands affably.

“You two are kind of cute, you know.”

Hyunmin expected Sunghyuk to protest that but instead he smiled shyly and checked over his clothes once more. “Good. How cute do I look?”

Hyunmin was reminded of how he had asked Daehyeon (who was enjoying himself a bit too much as Wontak cupped his jaw to keep his gaze steady while he checked Daehyeon didn’t have concussion) just minutes ago whether he could hope for someone to want to go out with him. Except Hyunmin (and Kiwon too, probably) already knew what this was about specifically. Hyunmin tried not to groan too loudly because they were all gathered here to do homework, not to watch Sunghyuk flirt with Seongri who never paid any actual attention to him.

Hyunmin wasn’t sure whether it was himself or Sunghyuk who had become worse in recent weeks. It seemed every time someone so much as mentioned Seongri, Sunghyuk would perk up and get all stuttery and blushy. It was weird, and not just because it made Hyunmin’s stomach feel funny - it was similar to being hungry except eating more food didn’t make the feeling go away and it only made him feel tight and irritable. The only thing that made the feeling abate was when Sunghyuk was inevitably disappointed by his run-ins with Seongri and he turned quiet and made faces which in turn made Hyunmin’s belly feel heavy and swoopy at the same time - but he found it strange because he hadn’t been able to see why it happened so often these days.

Around a month ago, Hyunmin was sure that Sunghyuk wasn’t like this. Sure, Sunghyuk had always laughed too hard at Seongri’s jokes and leaned too close to him as though desperately sapping the heat from his very bones, but he was doing it more (more frequently and with more intensity). Hyunmin was certain that Sunghyuk was doing it because he knew that there was a direct correlation between his behaviour and Hyunmin’s stomach problems.

When Hyunmin has spoken about this to Joowon, a sort of goofy girl who had recently started at taekwondo but attended the girls’ school across the road from Hyunmin’s school (so she knew most of the people Hyunmin mentioned even if it was by sight alone), she had been concerned and asked about his toileting habits. When a senior at the club called Yiseul heard (Hyunmin had always been a bit scared of Yiseul because not only was she impressively swift with punches and kicks but she was kind of the most beautiful woman Hyunmin had ever seen) she had laughed loudly and pulled both Hyunmin and Joowon into an embrace which squeezed the air out of their lungs. It hadn’t really been that funny, especially not when she had implied that Hyunmin _fancied_ Sunghyuk.

Weeks later, Hyunmin could admit to himself that Yiseul might have had a point.

Hyunmin had grown to hate the way Sunghyuk got so soft and coquettish about things. It was weird because he shouldn’t have been so cute considering Hyunmin caught him picking his nose on an almost daily basis at this point. Hyunmin got greedy, and he wasn’t sure if it was because Yiseul gave him permission to in this round-about way. He kept an eye out for things like Sunghyuk picking his nose or licking crusted stains on his school tie to determine what he had dropped on himself and made himself happy thinking that Seongri never got to see things like this.

Regardless of the things that Hyunmin designated as things that only he could enjoy, he still didn’t like that Sunghyuk’s more obvious cute and flirty sides were reserved for their senior whose voice could rival the talents of SG Wannabe or Noel, and whose comedic sense was on par with Jang Dongmin and Noh Hongchul and whose brains could defeat Hong Jinho or Jun Hyunmoo, and whose face was more handsome and dazzling than Song Joongki or Lee Jongsuk, or any number of other comparisons that Hyunmin had dutifully listened to while waiting for Sunghyuk to maybe throw a kind word or two his way for once.

The point was, Hyunmin was aware that he had feelings that were entirely unrelated to any medical problem he suspected he had. Those feelings were all very burdensome and clunky and Hyunmin endured them while Sunghyuk continued to look adorably pleased and hopeful whenever there was a chance of Seongri being mentioned, and Hyunmin was too new at this to be an expert at hiding his feelings. These were the sorts of things Daehyeon didn’t think Hyunmin was interested in but Hyunmin was very interested in learning how to either disguise his feelings or reveal them in a way which got him a shy blushy boyfriend who would fall easily into the role because of their existing closeness (Hyunmin was aware that there was another option to get over the infatuation but it was not a viable option for Hyunmin who was still in the phase of being certain that one day - _one wonderful and brilliant day!_ \- his feelings would be returned).

So Hyunmin sort of hated that he knew why Sunghyuk was curious about his degree of cuteness and he failed at tempering his reaction. Both Sunghyuk and Kiwon frowned at Hyunmin and he made something up about having stomachache.

Kiwon shrugged and said something that made Hyunmin equal parts exhilarated and devastated.

“I didn’t mean that you were cute individually. I just meant together you’re kind of funny.”

Kiwon was so handsome and smart and talented and _wise_! More people needed to appreciate Kiwon for how perfect and brilliant he was! Hyunmin was glad to hear somebody finally say that he and Sunghyuk were cute together. They made a wonderful, perfect pair who should have been together always and always.

The devastating part was the fact that he said he didn’t think that Sunghyuk was cute individually. That was a crime if Hyunmin had ever heard one. Sunghyuk was the cutest person in the world. There was no doubt about how cute Sunghyuk was on his own. Of course it was true that he would be _even_ cuter with Hyunmin, but he was super cute all on his own merit.

Inevitably, Sunghyuk was just as disappointed as half of Hyunmin was at hearing that he wasn’t cute individually. He pouted, colossally cute at Kiwon’s words and was even receptive to the arm Hyunmin donated to holding him close and patting him on the shoulder sympathetically.

Sensing his mistake, Kiwon said, “I don’t mean that you’re uncute or ugly or anything-”

“Ugly?” Sunghyuk wailed.

“Hyung,” Hyunmin said sternly. He just about managed to maintain the stern expression when Sunghyuk sagged into his side miserably.

“I said that I _don’t_ think you’re ugly,” Kiwon said.

No matter what Kiwon’s defence was, it shattered the minute Wontak managed to drag Daehyeon up from the floor and he looked down at Kiwon with disappointment in his eyes. Daehyeon poorly parroted the expression while his mouth kept going wobbly and smiley because of how Wontak was wrapped around him protectively.

“Kiwon,” Wontak said, “Why are you bullying the kids?”

“That is not what is happening here. At all!” Kiwon insisted.

Wontak shook his head and pressed his cheek to Daehyeon’s (and Daehyeon buzzed beatifically in his arms). “I really hope you can show a bit more maturity when we’re inside, Kiwon. The kids are looking to us for support in their studies.”

“Me too, I want your support too,” Daehyeon piped up. It was unnecessary but he remained a nuisance, pulling serene faces at Hyunmin and only stopping when he noticed Wontak smiling indulgently at him.

“Of course you have my support, Daehyeon. I will pay particularly close attention to you.”

Daehyeon thanked him, saccharine, and Hyunmin wondered how it was possible for him to compress his personality into this even worse form that was embarrassing to watch.

“I’m totally supportive,” Kiwon said as he grabbed Sunghyuk’s wrist and pulled. “Come on, you two, I’ll treat you today.”

“How can you treat us? It’s the library,” Hyunmin deadpanned as he was towed along. Kiwon fumbled with his library pass as he glanced over his shoulder and he flashed a pained smile at Hyunmin.

“Maybe there’s a vending machine,” He said. He passed through the barrier easily but when it came to Hyunmin and Sunghyuk’s turns they both had to retrieve their library passes from between the books in their backpacks. Kiwon tapped his foot impatiently. “Can’t you have a bit more urgency?”

“Aren’t you usually more relaxed than this? Also, keep your voice down. This is the library.”

Kiwon dragged Hyunmin through the barrier when it opened and pinched his arm much harder than necessary.

“Usually I am not aiming to find a table where there aren’t enough seats for those two to join us,” Kiwon grumbled.

“But if there aren’t enough seats for Daehyeon-hyung and Wontak-hyung, there won’t be room for Seongri-hyung,” Sunghyuk pointed out, smiling despite his puzzled expression. Kiwon sighed and did Sunghyuk the honour of pulling him through the library barriers when he finally found his library pass to scan.

Hyunmin was being polite by waiting until they were making their way up the stairs but Sunghyuk - and this stupid, ridiculous crush he had on Seongri - neglected to mention someone else who would bring hell’s wrath upon them for not considering him. Hyunmin cleared his throat and added, “And Eunki-hyung.”

“Ugh,” Kiwon groaned.

“What is that noise for?” Hyunmin asked, rightly indignant. Eunki was a fantastic friend so he saw no reason for his existence to be forgotten by Sunghyuk and met with derision from Kiwon.

“Eunki is just going to be a distraction,” Kiwon said. “He probably isn’t even coming to do any revision. I bet he just plans to flirt with the librarian.”

“What librarian?” Sunghyuk asked as he stumbled up a step. He smiled prettily when Hyunmin steadied him and that was good enough until they reached the summit of the stairs.

“I don’t know,” Kiwon said, waving his hand as though the matter wasn’t worth mentioning. “But he’s like that, isn’t he, you can’t deny that.”

“Like what?” Sunghyuk asked. The volume of his voice startled himself so he ducked his head and repeated the words in a whisper as they approached the doors to the study room.

“The biggest flirt in the world,” Kiwon suggested.

Hyunmin had to agree with Kiwon there. Eunki did have a way of switching on the charm and cranking it all the way to eleven. Being such a naturally magnetic person had many perks which Hyunmin had managed to benefit from every now and then (extra servings of food and a few free hours of karaoke were the freshest in Hyunmin’s memories of tagging along with Eunki). But it was a gift. Hyunmin could appreciate that Eunki’s personality was a wonderful gift even if he could easily recall several instances of study sessions being turned into group dates because of a whim or idle boredom when he was no longer satisfied with poring over illegible notes.

Despite how Eunki sort of was a distraction there was no reason to exclude him from plans to help broaden his academic career. Maybe Eunki himself knew this and that was why Kiwon grandly opened the doors to the study room and immediately swore when his eyes landed on Eunki sitting at a table right in the middle of the room.

Eunki certainly looked prepared to study. He was wearing a big, slouchy jumper which would no doubt prove itself to be a good choice when the revision session went on for too long and he could re-energise himself after a nap in some comfy clothes. His hair was effortlessly tousled and he wore round spectacles over his eyes which, similarly to Daehyeon’s, were unnecessary but Eunki could be forgiven because this was _fashion_. He even had a huge book in his lap that didn’t look as though it was something they would have to read as high school students, but it was enough to visually prove Kiwon wrong.

Hyunmin grabbed Sunghyuk by the wrist and dragged him over to the table to greet Eunki and the three people with him who were most likely actually doing work rather than posturing.

“Kenta-hyung, it’s nice to see you! Insoo-hyung, it isn’t so nice to see you,” Hyunmin said as he plonked his bag on the table. Kenta greeted Hyunmin and Sunghyuk (and Kiwon when he blinked himself out of his daze to take a seat at the table, muttering, “Is this real?”) cheerfully while Insoo folded his hands over the textbook he was taking notes from.

“Careful, everyone, the collective IQ of the group has just plummeted,” Insoo announced drily.

“What does that mean?” Kenta asked, earnest smile on his face.

“It means Hyunmin is stupid,” Insoo said with a significant look in Sunghyuk’s direction.

“Hyunmin isn’t that stupid,” Sunghyuk pouted. Hyunmin couldn’t remember whether the weather report that morning had mentioned the need for sunblock but Hyunmin wasn’t about to care too much about other people when he was glowing with joy like this. He wasn’t being proclaimed a sexy-brained man or anything with so much status but Sunghyuk was defending Hyunmin to the likes of Lee Insoo.

“You’re one to talk,” Insoo shrugged.

Sunghyuk frowned for a moment and closed his mouth on the ineffective retort he had probably thought up. He smiled and turned to the person at the table who Hyunmin had been ignoring (because he wasn’t sure how to respond to the blank stares). “Yongguk-hyung, it is a surprise to see you here.”

Yongguk smiled slowly, which was even stranger than the blank stare because Hyunmin hadn’t been aware that Yongguk possessed this range of facial expression. “I didn’t know that you would be here either, Sunghyuk.”

Sunghyuk nodded quickly. “Hyunmin and I are somehow bottom of our class in Korean. Luckily we have lots of reliable people around us to help us out.”

Hyunmin wondered whether Sunghyuk could have made it any more obvious that Seongri was the one to come up with the idea. Even Eunki, who had ignored them in favour of looking studious, peered up through his glasses to give Sunghyuk a pitying look. Though that might have been for the same reason that Insoo said, “Not even Kenta is bottom of his class for Korean.”

“That’s really good!” Sunghyuk said.

“How reliable do we all sound if you are bottom of your class and Kenta-hyung isn’t?” Kiwon asked. It was a good question and Hyunmin was glad that he didn’t purport to be surrounded by reliable people. It was even better that this had to be a point for Hyunmin’s scorecard - he wasn’t expected to be reliable unlike Seongri who had unkindly allowed Sunghyuk to sink to the deepest ranks of their class. Though Kenta seemed happy to buoy Seongri’s score.

“That doesn’t mean that I am very good!” Kenta denied, shaking his hands to shoo away the very notion. “We can all study very hard together.”

“Don’t you normally study with other people?” Kiwon asked.

Insoo sighed very loudly and dramatically (it was more of a groan really) so that Kenta’s reply was entirely muffled by the sound and said, “Kenta has resorted to the group who regularly fails to fill the brains of the stupidest kid in school because he has been ruthlessly and mercilessly bullied by some of his other so-called friends.”

Hyunmin didn’t miss the way Insoo looked directly at him when he said ‘the stupidest kid in school’ but he didn’t have time to ask about that when nobody else seemed to care.

“I am here to make sure nobody gives Kenta the wrong information,” Yongguk said seriously.

“You already know that we wouldn’t,” Eunki said.

“I don’t.”

“You do know it, Yongguk,” Insoo said. He leaned across Kenta with his hand raised all so that Hyunmin could witness the worst high-five he had ever seen in his life. It wasn’t a gesture that was ignored or rejected, so Hyunmin couldn’t work out why it was so embarrassing to watch. It was simply that Yongguk stared, confused, at the approaching hand and couldn’t work out how to make their palms slap together in the usual way which people did effortlessly every single day. Hyunmin knew how to high-five. Just to prove that he wasn’t the stupidest student in the school he raised his hand and grinned happily when Sunghyuk smacked their hands together and chuckled.

Hyunmin was sort of annoyed about the hand that clamped down on his trapezius and was about to give Kiwon a piece of his mind before discovering the true culprit was in fact Daehyeon who was arm in arm with Wontak. Kiwon looked betrayed somehow (enough for Eunki to reach over and pat his knee in commiseration) and his expression only got worse when Hyunmin was able to demonstrate his high-fiving expertise with Daehyeon. Hyunmin hoped that Yongguk was watching because he stood to learn a thing or two from someone who possessed coordination.

Kiwon was definitely watching because he muttered, “Why are you encouraging him,” right before Daehyeon approached him and he had to comprise 50% of Daehyeon’s second high-five of the minute.

“There are a lot of people here today,” Wontak said, as though it was worth commenting on at all.

It was not because Hyunmin could already tell that his grades were not going to benefit from this particular revision session. He should have invited Sunghyuk over to his house seeing as they were the only two in the same class and would be studying the same things diligently for their upcoming tests. He could have suggested a reward for their brilliant focus and they could have gone out for ice cream and ended up kissing. Hyunmin never understood how his imagination jumped to kissing so easily (walking to school together and then kissing, tying their shoelaces together and then kissing, searching for a lost wallet together and then kissing) but he certainly liked it. All he needed now was for real life to follow suit. He had lip balm in his pencil case in the event of emergency lip moisturisation because grading practice tests and then kissing was still a possibility.

Insoo frowned and Hyunmin hated how often Insoo was sending him funny looks today. Hyunmin thought very hard about how Insoo was not part of the kissing part of his plans and Insoo scoffed and looked away.

“Unfortunately for the people who are beyond hope,” Insoo said, “I don’t think having lots of people gathered is really going to be much help.”

“You should get your head down and start reading then,” Wontak said. Wontak only ever had good intentions so he was most likely just giving some friendly advice, but Insoo harrumphed loudly about how rude people were until he was shushed rather violently by Yongguk.

“What?” Insoo asked.

Yongguk shushed Insoo again and once Insoo shut his big mouth, Hyunmin could hear the Latin twang of guitar strings. He couldn’t see where the sound was coming from but before he had a proper chance to scan the area Sunghyuk shook Hyunmin’s shoulder and pointed across the table.

“Wait a minute.” Kenta rose out of his seat, a reluctant smile on his face as he shook his head. Yongguk grinned up at Kenta, a sheen of excitement that Hyunmin had never before seen was present, but Hyunmin wasn’t the only one who was out of the loop.

“Hyung, what are you doing?” Eunki asked. He had finally cracked his effortless fashion-king facade to make his alarm obvious as he tugged the hem of Kenta’s shirt.

Kenta did not answer. Instead he burst into an oscillating shimmy as the music made itself more easily identifiable as Despacito. By the time he was quick-stepping from side to side, Insoo and Eunki were wearing mortified expressions to counteract the sheer joy on Yongguk’s face. By the time Kenta turned while flapping his arms, Hyunmin was tempted to join in (Wontak already had joined in, clapping and shimmying in his seat while Daehyeon watched on half-amused).

Kenta pouted but he looked more proud than dejected as he asked, “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Who is he talking to?” Sunghyuk whispered into Hyunmin’s ear. Hyunmin was too busy appreciating the light tickle of Sunghyuk’s breath as it washed over the shell of his ear to answer. When he turned to look at Sunghyuk he feared that his pleased shiver had been way too obvious - luckily everyone was distracted (even Sunghyuk and the downturn of his mouth as he regarded Hyunmin with suspicion) by approaching cackling from behind a bookcase.

Kim Donghan, tall and unfortunately handsome, could barely stand upright as he glided over with his phone in hand (Despacito still playing loudly enough that he was receiving very miffed looks from several students who were genuinely trying to study), howling with laughter as he towed Roh Taehyun (short and more fortunately handsome) behind him. Seongri brought up the rear, chuckling good-naturedly as though his presence alone didn't signal the death of any happiness Hyunmin had.

Hyunmin kissed goodbye to the possibility of Sunghyuk leaning in close and whispering in his ear again. It was a memory that Hyunmin would treasure forever even though he had already forgotten the exact nature of the tickle that raced up his spine with the minute gusts of Sunghyuk’s voice.

“Seongri-hyung!” Sunghyuk exclaimed as he leapt out of his chair. He was in enough of a hurry to greet Seongri that he didn’t even spare a glance for Hyunmin after lamping him in the side of the head. While Hyunmin contemplated his imminent brain damage he could not help but hear the awful sound of Sunghyuk laughing (wheezing with mirth! How delightful aside from the fact that it was forced and Seongri hadn’t done more than say Sunghyuk’s name) which of course accompanied the sound of his heart shattering in his chest.

“It’s kind of sad when you think about it,” Insoo said sagely.

“What is?” Eunki asked, over-sized textbook and stylish specs abandoned.

“We are witnessing a slow and painful death,” Insoo pronounced.

“Someone is dying?” Kenta asked brightly before he was tackled to the ground by Donghan and Taehyun who were still cackling.

Kiwon patted Hyunmin’s shoulder sympathetically. “If it helps, I don’t think he is doing it on purpose.”

“It doesn’t help,” Hyunmin said dejectedly. Kiwon smiled grimly.

“He will notice one day.”

Hyunmin groaned minutely. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted Sunghyuk to notice - he didn’t even want Kiwon to have noticed but he was suffering too much to point that out - because these feelings were just weird. Hyunmin wanted what he had with Sunghyuk already but to a sharper degree. He wanted the things that they already had, gentle contact of linked fingers and arms wrapped around shoulders and waists, casual cuddles and faces pressed too close together, but he wanted it to be something that Sunghyuk sought out for a reason better than habit. He wanted all that without having to watch over his shoulder for a friend he had grown to resent because his jealousy had inflated enough to fill all the gaps that Sunghyuk created when he tore away to greet him.

Seongri held Sunghyuk at arm’s length and ruffled his hair before slinging his arms around Wontak and Daehyeon’s shoulders. “Are we all being studious today?”

“Not really,” Wontak said far too truthfully. “I think we’re all too much of a distraction for the Hyunmins and Sunghyuks of the world.” It was an odd echo of what Insoo had said previously and Insoo looked half-vindicated before Wontak added, “And poor Insoo.”

Wontak wasn’t wrong. Kenta had finally managed to escape the cackling clutches of Taehyun and had clambered into Eunki’s lap, pitifully whining about the cruelties of the world. Eunki look annoyed but Hyunmin suspected it was because his carefully crafted image had been shattered and now both of his arms were put to use petting Kenta and Insoo while he insincerely hummed about how much he cared. That wasn’t too much of a distraction but even Daehyeon had been distracted from gazing into Wontak’s eyes in favour of watching Donghan heely around the table with Kiwon’s bag.

Kiwon’s head was in his hands. Hyunmin didn’t blame him. To think Kiwon had assumed the worst he would have to put up with for the day was Eunki slut-dropping in front of a librarian. It was what he deserved for having implied that Eunki would be the problem rather than one of the other people they unfortunately knew.

Even more unfortunate was Seongri playfully ruffling Sunghyuk’s hair (and Sunghyuk giggling and blushing about it as though it was the most magical experience of his life) before proceeding to do the same to Hyunmin.

“One day, kids, you’ll realise that it is better to know nothing in life.”

“Kim Seongri, how can you go around saying that to people when your grades are in the top five of our year?” Taehyun asked as he flopped onto the table in front of Yongguk. Seongri looked mildly abashed as he grinned at Sunghyuk and Hyunmin.

“If you don’t know it now you probably won’t know it by tomorrow,” he shrugged. That didn’t sound like particularly good advice but the chance to dispute it was swallowed up in Donghan’s dramatic screaming when Daehyeon tripped him up.

They were all promptly thrown out of the library and the only person who looked concerned at all was Daehyeon, but Hyunmin suspected that was only because Wontak had attached himself to Eunki to help him coif more volume into his hair upon hearing about their next destination. Even Kiwon looked relieved to have been freed from the library and he slung his arm over Daehyeon’s shoulder as they walked and lied about how he was probably still Wontak’s favourite.

“Wontak-hyung doesn’t have any favourites, does he?” Hyunmin asked Sunghyuk quietly. Sunghyuk looked thoughtful for a moment and slowed the cheery swinging of their arms before he replied.

“I think everyone is his favourite,” he finally said.

“Everyone can’t be the favourite, it doesn’t work like that,” Hyunmin said. “I have a favourite friend who is way ahead of everyone else.”

“Me too!” Sunghyuk said. Hyunmin would have been fine if he had left it at that. Without any extra comment it was possible for Hyunmin to imagine that the favourite friend could be him and that his days of being lovey-dovey were fast approaching. Instead, Sunghyuk made it clear that Hyunmin was the _least_ favourite by eliminating any opportunity for hope. “My favourite is Seongri-hyung. He is so funny!”

“Why do you hate me, Sunghyuk?”

Hyunmin’s realisation that he had vocalised that thought only came when Insoo snickered right behind him. Hyunmin looked over his shoulder and had never been more disappointed to be on the receiving end of a thumbs-up. He swallowed down the desperation that permeated his bones which made it very difficult to walk. He catalogued his body parts to try to remind himself how to put one foot in front of the other but his mind snagged continuously on the way Sunghyuk squeezed his hand. He verified it with his eyes - Sunghyuk was still holding his hand, though now the grip was tight enough that his fingers tingled with lack of blood supply - and he pushed through his reluctance to look back at Sunghyuk’s stricken face. That wasn’t right. Hyunmin smiled. Sunghyuk’s face fell further.

“How could you think that I hate you?” Sunghyuk asked.

Oh, gosh. Hyunmin’s life was basically over. His heart was clenching in his chest and the tingling in his fingers was sprinting up his arm. Sunghyuk had no business being so adorable. Hyunmin already had the world’s saddest crush (second place went to Sunghyuk but that wasn’t much consolation) and this just ensured he would win the title for several years running.

“Uh, I don’t think you _hate_ me,” Hyunmin said. “I just… Uh…”

“Does anyone know CPR because after this is over I’m going to want someone to bring Hyunmin back to life so I can watch him do this again and again,” Insoo cackled. Sunghyuk frowned at Insoo and amplified the expression to turn it on Hyunmin.

“I know some first aid,” Kiwon said helpfully.

“What is CPR?” Kenta asked. Insoo hooked his arm around Yongguk’s neck to pull him into close enough range to mime it until Kenta made a sound of comprehension. There was a chance that Kenta waited longer than necessary to make his realisation known because Yongguk was cringing and squirming for a while before Kenta said, “Oh, that is CPR!”

“I could never hate you, Hyunmin,” Sunghyuk said sincerely. “In fact, I love you and I know CPR. Let me know if you need it!”

Sunghyuk looked so determined to make Hyunmin cheer up that it didn’t seem worth mentioning the fact that if he was in need of CPR it would be obvious enough. He hoped. If Hyunmin was passed out and not breathing it would be nice if Sunghyuk could take a break from faking laughs at Seongri for long enough to call an ambulance and give CPR a go. Hyunmin sort of didn’t mind if Sunghyuk didn’t realise though. It might be better for him to float up to heaven and watch Sunghyuk and Seongri’s love story from afar with the other angels who were doomed to lovelessness.

Hyunmin smiled as well as he could and Sunghyuk pulled him into a tight hug.

Donghan laughed loudly and pinched Hyunmin’s cheeks as he skipped past to tackle Hyunbin who was standing gormlessly further up the street. Donghan had been looking suspiciously pleased with himself since getting them all kicked out of the library and even Taehyun’s half-hearted scolding didn’t diminish the grin on his face. This was clearly why. And Hyunmin felt sort of jealous as he watched Donghan mauling Hyunbin.

It wasn’t that Hyunmin wanted to tackle Sunghyuk to the ground and press a myriad of loud kisses to his face and neck while he ignored being told how annoying he was - though seeing Donghan do the same thing with Hyunbin made cords pull tightly in his chest even though he had Sunghyuk’s hand in his own - it was that he quite liked the idea of getting to tell people that he was part of a pair.

Sunghyuk could come to cheer for him at his taekwondo competitions and congratulate him with a kiss pressed to his cheek (he could also ease his losses in the same way but Hyunmin was trying to stay positive). Hyunmin could return the favour and cheer at Sunghyuk’s football matches and whoop and yell louder than anyone when his amazing boyfriend (star striker who moved with balletic grace and shot penalties with sniper-like precision) scored a goal. It would be cute and fun and everyone would sigh happily when they saw them together. “Oh, those two are such an adorable couple!”

The likes of Kiwon could comment on how they are cute together (and _individually!_ Sunghyuk was kind of adorable!) and Wontak would agree while posting very cute pictures on his Instagram and gathering dozens of comments which said the same thing. And Eunki could take charge of planning the awfully sweet wedding and dissuade Sunghyuk from choosing a colour scheme which honoured his favourite football team while hiring Seongri to sing at their wedding. Of course Daehyeon would be Hyunmin’s best man and Hyunmin would pretend to enforce a rule limiting the amount of dabbing allowed in his speech but he wouldn’t care because it would be his _wedding_!

Hyunmin was probably getting ahead of himself because Sunghyuk was holding his hand as a friend. And the problem grew. Sunghyuk liked spending time with Hyunmin (as a friend). Sunghyuk loved Hyunmin (as a friend). Sunghyuk indulged in excessive skinship with Hyunmin (as a friend). Hyunmin wanted to know what it would take for Sunghyuk to fall in love with him (as they were already friends). It was a very pathetic predicament to be in, but Sunghyuk’s crush on Seongri was hopeless if only for the fact that he was too scared to tell Seongri about it. Hyunmin knew he was in a similar situation. But it was sort of different.

“It’s exactly the same,” Sanggyun said bluntly.

Hyunmin felt his smile slip right off his face. He should have known something bad would happen if he was left with Sanggyun and Yongguk.

Sanggyun had overslept and forced Hyunbin and Taedong to skip going to the library so that he wasn’t embarrassed. His foul was rewarded with the punishment of having to sit out on the first round of play at the arcade and having to save a table for them. Yongguk was there because he said he needed a nap after working so hard in the library all morning. Hyunmin was there because Eunki had handed over his bag with a solemn expression and said, “You have to look after my bag, Hyunmin. It is very expensive and I don’t want to get any blood on it when I destroy Insoo-hyung on the air hockey table. I trust you the most.”

“You trust him more than you trust me?” Kiwon squawked.

“I need you to help me destroy Insoo-hyung,” Eunki shrugged. He turned back to Hyunmin seriously and said, “I trust you the most after Kiwon-hyung. Also I would feel less bad about murdering you if anything happened to my bag.”

“Why would anyone have to be murdered?” Hyunmin asked.

Eunki had raised his eyebrows cryptically and dragged Kiwon over to where Insoo was already jeering at Taedong and Wontak. Hyunmin was left clutching Eunki’s bag and stroking the caviar leather for clues as to how much more valuable this bag was than his life.

Sunghyuk had wrapped a sympathetic arm around Hyunmin’s shoulders. “I can stay with you if you’d like!”

Hyunmin refused. He would get distracted if Sunghyuk was around and his death would be sealed with the carelessness that arose whenever Hyunmin attempted to flirt. Besides, he was keen to get some advice from a person who wasn’t listlessly following Wontak around and waiting for some recognition in his perfect, ideal boyfriend eyes.

Hyunmin didn’t really like Sanggyun’s assessment of the situation. Perhaps if Hyunmin scratched or stained Eunki’s bag he could blame Sanggyun and orchestrate a crime without any direct involvement. Yongguk laughed even though he pretended to be asleep. Hyunmin wouldn’t feel bad about blaming him too.

“It’s different, Hyung,” Hyunmin said. “Seongri-hyung only sees Sunghyuk as a kid. Sunghyuk at least thinks of me as an equal.”

“How did you work that out?” Sanggyun asked.

“We’re friends. Nobody is on a pedestal,” Hyunmin reasoned. He really meant it. Unlike Sunghyuk waxing poetic about how unattainably perfect Seongri was, Hyunmin was very aware that Sunghyuk was just a human who wanted (deserved) to be showered with love. With all the humanity he had Hyunmin knew he could provide everything Sunghyuk needed. Things like holding hands and giving him change for vending machines and linking him to funny videos on the internet and whatever a boyfriend needed for love to prosper (plenty of water, a pot deep enough for the roots to grow, as many hours of sunlight as possible).

Sanggyun made a buzzer sound with his mouth. Yongguk sleepily cracked open one eye.

“Nobody is on a pedestal?” Sanggyun asked. “Who is the cutest person in the whole world?”

It should have been obvious what Hyunmin thought and if the question didn’t already answer the itself, the smile that spread across his face did the trick. “Of course it is Sunghyuk.”

“Wrong again,” Sanggyun said. “Yongguk, who is the cutest person in the world?”

“Kim Yongguk. Ttanggyunie, who ith the cwootetht pwerthon in the world?”

“De cwutetht pwerthon in de woorwd ith handthome, thexy and cool Kim Ttanggyun.” Sanggyun sent a significant look across the table to Hyunmin and said, “Who is the cutest person in the world?”

It was (sort of) easy to see what was being asked of him but there was no way that he could say it. How could he be the cutest person in the world when Sunghyuk was in the world, living and breathing and cheering Seongri on the dancemat with all his might? Heartbreaking.

“Just because I think Sunghyuk is the cutest person in the world it doesn’t mean that we’re not friends.”

Sanggyun was very fond of making buzzer sounds with his mouth. It was making Hyunmin very cross in his time of need.

“What is it now?”

Sanggyun sighed and shook his head at Yongguk who returned a blanker version of the pitiable expression. “This is serious.” Sanggyun looked at Hyunmin and clasped his hands on the table. “Hyunmin, you will never truly be friends with Sunghyuk if you have all these weird feelings about him. You will always be hoping and he will always be chasing after someone else. You will just get sad and jealous and it will never work.”

Hyunmin frowned. “I know. I don’t want to just be Sunghyuk’s friend. I wanted to know if you think he would eventually want to go out with me.”

“Oh,” Sanggyun said. “Why are you asking me? I don’t even know him that well.”

Hyunmin was beginning to wonder why he bothered as well. Sanggyun was quite good looking, even if he did say so himself, so Hyunmin assumed he had some experience in the area of romancing people. On closer inspection Sanggyun was likely well-versed in romancing his own reflection.

It was silly but Hyunmin was getting tired of this problem. All he had for comfort was Eunki’s bag which would get him killed in the near future. It wasn’t the comfort Hyunmin craved. He idly cradled the bag to his chest and watched as Sunghyuk clung to Eunki’s hand and laughed way too hard at Seongri’s commentary of the air hockey deathmatch taking place between Kenta and Hyunbin.

Sunghyuk looked so happy as he stared at Seongri, collapsed with guffaws and howled repetitions of the funniest parts. None of it was really that funny because cute and unassuming Kenta was nowhere to be seen and the demon possessing his body had somehow already chipped the puck so that it hit Hyunbin between the eyes twice now. Seongri’s commentary only served to distract everyone from the bloodthirst on Kenta’s face.

Sunghyuk’s exaggerated laughing could still be heard but the wide stretch of his mouth disappeared from sight when Daehyeon collapsed into the seat beside Hyunmin and curled his head into Hyunmin’s chest.

“Hyung, what’s wrong?”

Donghan had escorted Daehyeon over and very kindly kicked his bum before sitting astride Yongguk’s lap and grinning at them all.

“He’s still getting ignored!” Donghan announced gleefully.

Daehyeon wailed a little too loudly into Hyunmin’s chest. There was some definite dampness and Hyunmin was beginning to suspect his misery was turning spiteful and he was dribbling all over Hyunmin on purpose. Unless he was crying but the dampness wasn’t as close to the sharp dig of spectacle frames as it should have been.

“I wish I was being ignored,” Yongguk said.

“How can you say that?” Donghan asked. He planted a sloppy kiss on Yongguk’s cheek which was met with unenthusiastic reluctance. In fact, Hyunmin suspected the kiss was exactly what Yongguk wanted because when Donghan looked away Yongguk stiffly bit back the smile that was tugging at the corners of his lips.  

“Won’t Hyunbin-hyung be sad if you kiss other people?” Hyunmin asked. Donghan looked around the table before pointing back to himself.

“Are you talking to me?” Hyunmin nodded and Donghan laughed. “Why would he be sad?”

Hyunmin hesitated. He couldn’t think of a good way to say what he was thinking because as Donghan looked at him from across the table, an arm slung around Yongguk’s neck as he stroked his face, it was becoming increasingly possible that Hyunmin was on the wrong track. He couldn’t think of a better way to say it so he settled for the only way he could think to say it. “Aren’t you going out with Hyunbin-hyung?”

“Ew. That’s gross. You’re disgusting,” Donghan said. He must have felt strongly about that because he stopped stroking Yongguk’s face just so he could point at Hyunmin. Sanggyun laughed loudly and Daehyeon made a sound that could have been a laugh as easily as a sob.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“How could I go out with him?” Donghan asked. “Am I supposed to hold his big, strong, hands, and put my arms around his beautiful, perfect body, and look into his gorgeous, sexy eyes, and kiss him on that delicious mouth we are all blessed to even lay our eyes on? Disgusting. You’re really disgusting, Byun Hyunmin.”

Hyunmin was confused. He wasn’t really sure what was happening. “Am I?”

“Gross!” Donghan shouted.

“Sorry.”

“You should be,” Donghan said dourly. He pressed his cheek to Yongguk’s and smiled happily. “I can’t believe Hyunmin just said all those terrible things about me.”

“I didn’t say any of that.”

“You sort of did,” Sanggyun said.

“I did not!”

“Listen, Hyunmin, Donghan wouldn’t lie about this,” Sanggyun said as though he hadn’t been present for the entire exchange.

Hyunmin had said none of that weirdly detailed stuff about Hyunbin. None of those thoughts had so much as entered his mind so of course he hadn’t said any of that. they were all things that Donghan had made up himself. Now, if this were instead about Sunghyuk, Hyunmin might be able to understand. The thought of sliding his palm against Sunghyuk’s and holding on tightly even though it was clammy and uncomfortable was pleasant. If Hyunmin got really bored he could rest his head on Sunghyuk’s shoulder and see if they had gained skin-contact telepathy, or he could test how brave Sunghyuk was in the face of pain by trying to pluck out his leg hairs.

These sorts of thoughts weren’t good. He could spiral for hours in these daydreams when really he wanted some advice on how to best control himself and decide whether there was a chance once and for all. A superficial judgement would suggest there was no chance at all but Hyunmin really wanted to be able to hear someone encourage him so that he could try.  He considered that he might have the wrong audience for that as he watched Sanggyun suddenly play dead when Donghan approached him with puckered lips.

Hyunmin looked around but the right sort of audience was difficult to find. Seongri was the enemy in the most basic sense, Eunki was nice enough but he was also very blunt and had recently threatened Hyunmin’s life, Wontak was usually sensible and trustworthy but was currently nuzzling Taedong’s neck next to the basketball game, Kiwon was busy kicking Kenta away from Hyunbin so would be too preoccupied to give Hyunmin what he needed, and Sunghyuk was… impossible to ask. Hyunmin wanted them to just easily fit together without any of the stress of having to ask him out and pray for an affirmation that their feelings matched up. That was unlikely so Hyunmin had to suffer underneath the weight of his cowardice and look elsewhere. All he had was Daehyeon who was sulking into his chest.

“Hyung, what would you do if you liked someone?” Hyunmin asked. Daehyeon was initially unresponsive and it took a few prods before he realised Hyunmin was even speaking to him. He sighed dramatically and tilted his head up.

“I don’t know,” he said. “Die?”

That wasn’t helpful. At all. Hyunmin already felt like he was dying and that wasn’t doing him any favours.

“I don’t want to die, Hyung.”

Daehyeon sat up and frowned at Hyunmin. “Why would you die?”

“I like someone.”

“Oh,” Daehyeon said. “Ew. Is this why you asked me if you were the ugliest boy in school earlier?”

It was Hyunmin’s turn to frown. “I never asked you that.”

“Whatever,” Daehyeon said, “I’m sure you’ll be luckier in love than I am. Whoever you love will probably look at you some time and beg for your hand in marriage instead of tossing you aside for someone taller and better looking.”

“Why do you have to make yourself sound so pathetic?” Donghan asked, his voice muffled because his mouth was mashed against Sanggyun’s face. “Just tell him how you feel.”

“That’s easy for someone without feelings to say,” Daehyeon scoffed.

Sanggyun winced away from the kiss that was pressed to his forehead by Donghan but mostly looked relieved when Donghan sat up straight and pointed across the table at Daehyeon. “I have plenty of feelings. In fact, I am feeling very kind and helpful right now.”

Daehyeon gave Hyunmin an apprehensive look but it was not as though Hyunmin was able to help work out what that meant. He shrugged and Donghan loudly called over Insoo.

“What do you want?” Insoo asked as he wandered over. He didn’t look very destroyed so Eunki must not have followed through on that particular vow. He did look ruffled from having to keep a tight leash on Kenta (who had been tethered to Insoo by his belt. He didn’t look happy about this and shared out his misfortune by dragging Sunghyuk behind him.)

Donghan smiled and didn’t look at all bothered by the sullen tone. “You need to help out a lovesick friend.”

Insoo scoffed and locked eyes with Hyunmin. “I think you’re beyond help, Hyunmin.”

“Hyunmin’s sick?” Kenta asked.

“Hyunmin’s in love?” Sunghyuk asked. He looked very worried about the possibility as he peered down at Hyunmin. It was not as though Hyunmin was really so far removed from things like having feelings and liking people. Hyunmin had been like this all along yet Sunghyuk was looking at him as though him being in love was really the same thing as being sick.

“Um. I do like someone,” Hyunmin said.

“Wow.” It was a strange sounding ‘wow’ - it was a flat sound that was nowhere the enthusiasm that Sunghyuk faked for the sake of being noticed by Seongri.

“I’m not talking about Hyunmin,” Donghan said. “I can’t believe you’re all heartless enough to ignore the suffering of Daehyeon-hyung like this.”

Insoo scoffed. “Who do you like?” Daehyeon sighed despondently and Insoo added, “If you don’t tell me I can just ask Eunki. He tells me everything, you know.”

“Will you tell me too?” Kenta asked as he pressed closer to Insoo. He didn’t seem to be minding the situation too much.

“Of course I will tell you,” Insoo blustered. “It is important for you to know all the same things that I know.”

“Are you jealous, Sunghyuk? Insoo and I have no secrets at all!” Kenta said gleefully.

“Um, sometimes it is good to have secrets,” Sunghyuk replied uncertainly. Hyunmin wondered what sort of secrets Seongri kept from Sunghyuk (probably things like he cheated on a test once, or he had never received any genuine valentines chocolate, or he would never ever fall in love with Sunghyuk).

Sunghyuk hadn't sounded sure but Hyunmin agreed that it was good to have secrets. He wouldn't have been able to bear those first few weeks after he realised that he sort of did have funny feelings for Sunghyuk if they didn't have secrets. Hyunmin kept the fact a secret from almost everyone except for Joowon from the taekwondo club (and probably all of her friends who she simply had to tell everything), yet somehow Insoo and his scary looking friend Sangbin had kept hinting about the fact they knew every time they saw him at school. Kenta was much less intimidating than Sangbin, so Hyunmin wasn't on the verge of confessing to Sunghyuk out of fear and hoping that the torment would end, but Hyunmin didn't trust him completely, not when he said things like, “Does the person you like keep secrets? Does the person who likes you keep secrets?”

“Who likes me?” Sunghyuk asked.

“Excuse me, can we get back on track and try to help Daehyeon-hyung!” Donghan said loudly as he banged on the table.

Insoo shrugged. “I reckon Daehyeon is a lost cause. sorry.”

“I heard that you were a good guy, Insoo-hyung, but it sounds like it was all a lie,” Donghan said solemnly.

“I'm a good guy,” Yongguk said for no discernible reason. “But I don't think Daehyeon can win against Taedong.”

“Thanks,” Daehyeon said glumly. Hyunmin patted his shoulder sympathetically. He wasn’t the only obvious one around here but he didn’t feel any better for it. Daehyeon was cool and funny and handsome (Hyunmin was nice enough to be able to admit this much even if Daehyeon was evil and kept on as though Hyunmin wasn’t good-looking at all).

“I think Daehyeon-hyung could win against anyone,” Hyunmin said confidently. Daehyeon gave a small smile and he looked better already. There was still hope. Wontak was just very friendly with everyone. Hyunmin had his fair share of lingering hugs and offers to take a nap on Wontak’s lap or shoulder, so whatever was happening with Taedong must have simply been friendship. It was totally possible.

“I can’t believe Hyunmin, who just said some awful things about me just now, is the only person on my side,” Donghan noted.

“I suppose this makes you friends,” Sanggyun grinned.

“I don’t think so.”

“Oh well,” Insoo said cheerily. “At least you’ll always have Sunghyuk. Oh, wait!”

Sunghyuk frowned at Kenta and Insoo as they high-fived. “What does that mean?”

“What do you think it means?” Sanggyun asked pointedly. Hyunmin wanted to know what Sanggyun thought it meant because he hadn’t hinted that he knew anything about Hyunmin’s pathetic affections until now. There was a chance it could just have been him joining in with picking on Hyunmin for the sake of it. It better have been the case otherwise Hyunmin would have to think long and hard about who he could trust.

Sunghyuk, however, would always be someone who Hyunmin could trust. He was so wonderfully well-meaning, saying things like, “Hyunmin will always have me. We’ll be friends forever.”

“Wow, friends forever, did you hear that?” Insoo asked. There was a jeer in his tone right up until Kenta plastered himself to Insoo’s back and said, “Us too! We’ll be friends forever too.”

Insoo chuckled softly as though that would be enough to distract from the brilliance of his blush but Hyunmin could see it very clearly as Insoo wound his arm around Kenta’s waist and shoved Sunghyuk away. “Forever and ever.”

Sunghyuk looked a little bit hurt and Hyunmin wondered whether he rolled his ankle or was injured even worse when he was cast away by Insoo. Hyunmin nudged Daehyeon to his feet and reached out for Sunghyuk.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Sunghyuk smiled

“Are you sure?” Hyunmin asked. “If our star footballer is injured I am sure it will be possible for the perpetrator to get some demerits.”

“I’m fine,” Sunghyuk snickered.

“There’s no need to be brave on my account,” Hyunmin said valiantly. “I will do my utmost to protect you from any future attacks. In fact, if you wanted me to I could get revenge on Insoo-hyung by-”

“By doing what?”

Hyunmin shivered. ‘Friends forever’ can’t have meant too much to Sunghyuk if he was going to set Hyunmin up for his death so easily by not warning him of Eunki’s approach. But Hyunmin could think on his feet when Eunki was involved. Hyunmin turned to look up at him with a sweet smile.

“By loving him with all my heart as I do now.”

“Is that right?” Eunki asked with a smirk. He looked like he was about to buy the lie until he narrowed his eyes at something behind Hyunmin. Eunki wasn’t focusing on Yongguk’s reddening face as Donghan whispered in his ear (or Sanggyun’s face which paled for the same reason) but his bag which had slipped off Hyunmin’s lap at some point before he had stood and was now a part of the higgledy-piggledy pile of bags under the table. Eunki laughed, loud and good-natured and entirely terrifying. “Hyunmin, my sweet little piggy, one of my dearest friends, is there something you want to take care of before something terrible happens to you?”

Hyunmin moved very slowly as he reached to fetch Eunki’s bag from the pile. He dusted it off lightly and presented it proudly. “I took good care of it, Hyung.”

“I don’t think that’s true at all, Hyunmin. If I were you, I would think about making a very quick getaway.”

Hyunmin did think about making a quick getaway. He grabbed Sunghyuk and Daehyeon’s hands before he made himself scarce. Hyunmin was rushed, so he wasn’t thinking clearly. That was a good enough excuse when he realised he had run right up to Wontak and Taedong who were - well there wasn’t really a nicer word for what they were doing and there was no point in Hyunmin trying to censor it when Daehyeon was staring at them with his mouth agape, disappointment seeping from every orifice - cuddling. Hyunmin should have expected it when he realised that the screen on the car racing game was looping the demo reel and he could see that two someones were sharing a seat.

Daehyeon sighed loudly.

“I’m sorry, Hyung!” Hyunmin said. He really was sorry and he didn’t want Daehyeon’s mood to deteriorate but he wasn’t sure how he was going to fix this. Sunghyuk apparently had an idea.

“Taedong-hyung, I don’t think Taehyun-hyung would like it very much if he heard that you were hogging this game to cuddle when other people want to play,” Sunghyuk said bravely. He sounded every inch the snitch Hyunmin knew him to be and it was no wonder that Hyunmin felt himself fall a little bit deeper in love. Taedong frowned up at Sunghyuk and chuckled nervously.

“He’s not my mother. What is he going to do?”

Sunghyuk paused for a moment and Hyunmin could see the gears in his head whirring into place before he huffed determinedly and pointed at Taedong. “I heard there would be dire consequences for anyone misbehaving. Haven’t you already seen that Kenta-hyung has a babysitter?”

Taedong sat up straighter. Daehyeon’s eye twitched at the way Wontak’s arms pulled taut against Taedong’s torso as he moved. The cursory search came to a conclusion as Taedong squinted at where Eunki was gesticulating wildly and everyone else was looking suitably chastised in Hyunmin’s place. Insoo and Kenta were clearly only pretending to listen to Eunki’s ranting and they were wrapped tightly around each other.

“I wouldn’t call that a punishment so much as a privilege.”

This time Sunghyuk didn’t miss a beat. “I heard that your babysitter’s initials are KDH.”

Taedong leapt up and scurried over to Taehyun sheepishly. Wontak looked up at the three who remained. “Who wants to play?”

“Daehyeon-hyung and Hyunmin want to play,” Sunghyuk said. He nudged Daehyeon in the direction of the empty seat but when Wontak made to get up from the seat he had shared with Taedong, Sunghyuk pushed him back down. “Um! Sorry, Hyung. I just need to borrow Hyunmin for a second. Can you play in his place until we get back?”

Wontak smiled softly and patted Sunghyuk’s back. “Of course I can. Take your time. I’m sure I can keep Daehyeon occupied until then.”

Sunghyuk smiled brightly. He linked arms with Hyunmin and led him away briskly.

“Have I ever told you that you are the most amazing person I have ever met?” Hyunmin asked. Sunghyuk laughed and looked bashful. “I really mean it, Sunghyuk I swear you just fixed, like, ten of Daehyeon-hyung’s problems in less than a minute.”

“Anyone would have done the same thing.”

Hyunmin wasn't sure that was true. he hadn't been able to think of anything good. In fact Hyunmin had been the one to lead Daehyeon to the sight which nearly ended him. Sunghyuk was a hero for rectifying that!

“You're seriously cool!” Hyunmin insisted. Someone else disagreed.

“You're a liar.”

Sunghyuk smiled pleasantly up at Taedong. “Is something the matter?”

“You made me scared for no reason.”

“Be quiet, you idiot!” Taehyun yelled from his spot cheering Hyunbin on at street fighter. “Why would you believe I would employ Donghan to keep an eye on you?”

“Because you're evil,” Taedong muttered sullenly. He must not have intended to be heard because his eyes widened comically when Taehyun’s supersonic hearing allowed him to volley back a response.

“How would that be evil? Don't you love Donghan?”

“He's evil too,” Taedong said even more sulkily.

“Get over here, you absolute baby!”

The instruction sounded more kind than anything but Taedong trudged over reluctantly as though he really was being punished. Sunghyuk followed along (and Hyunmin had no choice but to do the same due to the wonderful fact that their arms were still firmly looped together). When Kiwon saw them approach he tagged Taehyun in to take over his Street Fighter player.

“What are you doing, Hyung?” Hyunmin asked. “Weren't you winning?”

Kiwon grinned. “I said I would treat you, didn't I?”

“This old man is just worried because Hyunbin was about to wipe the floor with him,” Taehyun shouted over his shoulder.

Kiwon sighed. “Firstly, how am I the old man? Secondly I am beating Hyunbin 3:1.”

Taehyun raised his hands in the air and turned to grin triumphantly as Chun-Li was engulfed in the flames of a Hadouken. Taehyun cocked a finger gun at Kiwon. “Pew! 3:2. Hyunbin is going to desecrate you.”

“I literally stopped playing,” Kiwon pointed out.

“That sounds like something a loser would say,” Taehyun jeered. He was oddly smug about the whole thing, patting Hyunbin on the head and praising him with syrupy words right up until Taedong reached over to mash buttons on the console before the next round started. Taehyun immediately stirred grit into his voice and Taedong was threatened with having to be paired up with Donghan for real. Taedong returned to sulking and maybe even muttered something about hating this family. Hyunmin couldn't be sure because he had to request Kiwon repeated his last words.

Kiwon rolled his eyes. “Let's go and find a vending machine.”

“You're joking, right?” Hyunmin said flatly.

“Why would I be joking? I said I would treat the two of you,” Kiwon said cheerily. He must really have been hit by that last Hadouken if he had managed to convince himself that this was good.

Hyunmin exchanged a glance with Sunghyuk. It looked like it was Hyunmin’s turn to be brave and cool. He cleared his throat. “A vending machine would have worked at the library but this is the arcade. We want a real treat.”

“I'm offering to spend my money on you, aren't I?”

“But vending machines are rubbish! I want nachos and hot wings!” Hyunmin whined. Sunghyuk nodded supportively. Hyunmin was no fool he knew what was best to order at the arcade.

Kiwon frowned. “I can just get you nothing, you know. In fact, why should I treat you? I was feeling good today. I was feeling loose enough to get a personal best of winning rounds on Street Fighter and I gave it up because I wanted to be kind. If this is how ungrateful you're both going to be then I have no choice but to let everyone else know how awful you are!”

“The vending machine is fine,” Hyunmin grumbled. Kiwon looked pleased with that so Hyunmin only looked at him and not the glimpses of disappointment from Sunghyuk. There were some battles that could never be won and Hyunmin knew well enough when he was on the losing side. To make it up to Sunghyuk, Hyunmin let him choose while Kiwon made a show of pushing coins into the vending machine.

“I’m kind of thirsty,” Sunghyuk said as he tapped his chin.

“Yeah, sure. whatever you want.”

“You should give your opinion too!” Sunghyuk said. “We need to pick something that we both like so we can share it.”

“You can choose. I will only have a little bit anyway.”

“Hyunmin!” Sunghyuk said, exasperated. Hyunmin knew just how exasperating he could be but he didn't think that the same was true of Sunghyuk.

“Fine!” Hyunmin huffed. He bashed a button on the machine and pretended not to care about it at all when Sunghyuk bent to pick up the can of Fanta.

“I thought you were boycotting Fanta,” Sunghyuk said with a frown. That much was technically true after the unfortunate incident caused entirely by the two students who sat directly in front of Hyunmin in their class. Even now just looking at the can in Sunghyuk’s hand sent shivers down Hyunmin’s spine and reminded him of all those awful detentions cleaning the school toilets and the grease trap in the kitchen.

“Whatever,” Hyunmin shrugged. “It's refreshing and sweet, just like… whatever.”

Kiwon laughed as though he knew what was coming next. It would have been stranger for him not to be able to guess where Hyunmin’s stupid brain was leading him, so Hyunmin only glowered quietly.

“You two really are unbelievably cute.”

“Hyung, stop saying things like that,” Sunghyuk grumbled. He busied himself with opening the can and Kiwon offered Hyunmin a smile of commiseration. Hyunmin ignored the mouthed message of, “One day!” because this was already painful enough.

And then Sunghyuk offered the mouth of the can to Hyunmin. Sunghyuk wasn't actually gross enough to slobber all over the can and contaminate it with his insanely cute and hot in an unexpected way germs, but that was all Hyunmin could think about. This was terrible.

“You can have it,” Hyunmin said weakly.

“But it is a treat for both of us.”

Hyunmin shrugged and did an objectively poor job of affecting nonchalance. “Like you said, I'm boycotting Fanta.”

“Then you should have picked something that you're not boycotting!” Sunghyuk said heatedly.

Kiwon snorted. “Boycotting? I don't think Coca-Cola is responsible for you having to scrub some urinals.”

“We're not talking about Coca-Cola, Hyung, we're talking about Fanta,” Sunghyuk said helpfully.

“It's all the same company,” Kiwon said sagely with a pat on the crown of Sunghyuk’s head.

“Oh.”

“Anyway,” Hyunmin said quickly. “After you finish the Fanta you can show me how to get a really high score on Aliens: Extermination.”

Sunghyuk agreed easily and chugged the can of Fanta in earnest. Hyunmin wasn’t really that bad at first-person shooter games but Sunghyuk was just that bit better. The difference in skill was enough for Hyunmin to justify requiring in-depth instruction. Kiwon did a lot of tutting and muttering under his breath before he left them to it. It must have been because he was awful at shooting games and he didn’t have the wonderful tutelage of Sunghyuk showing him how to stand and when to time reloading between shots.

It was all going swimmingly until someone had to butt in.

“You both look like you’re having fun!” Seongri noted.

Sunghyuk laughed, nervous and loud, as he pulled his arms from around Hyunmin and stumbled backwards. “I was just helping him out with the game.”

“I’m sure you were being very helpful.”

There was something odd about the way Seongri said that but it was not until they had been summoned to partake in the car racing tournament (the prize being nachos and hot wings because everyone here was evil and never wanted Hyunmin to get what he wanted) that he had mostly worked it out. Seongri hadn’t sounded as though he was joking but there was something very insincere about the way he called Sunghyuk helpful. Sunghyuk was super helpful! But it wouldn’t do to point out Sunghyuk’s good points when he was petty enough to want to keep Sunghyuk all to himself.

Things that weren’t helpful included Sanggyun’s weird English commentary of the race between Seongri and Yongguk (though rather than a race it was as though they had gone on a drive together and were keeping pace with one another as they admired the computer-generated scenery). But Sunghyuk was really helpful and he stuck close to Hyunmin when it became apparent that neither of them had a chance of getting to compete for the nachos and hot wings.

Sanggyun eventually noticed how unimpressed Hyunmin was with matters and elbowed him. “You know, this is all just a setup anyway. Taedong is going to win because Taehyun upset him and that is why we are having the tournament. But Taedong will donate his prize to Donghan because that’s the way it always goes.”

“Then what are we doing here? Aside from wasting time?” Hyunmin asked.

“Maybe if we’re really polite and supportive we can get some food too,” Sunghyuk said hopefully.

Sanggyun laughed. “Yeah, you wish. Good luck keeping your hands if you even try.”

As much as Hyunmin loved having his appendages threatened, he decided to step a bit further away from Donghan who seemed to be keen to show off the strength of his teeth rather than smiling for any discernible reason. Sunghyuk did the same and from a safer distance they watched Insoo debate with Taehyun about how he, Kenta and Eunki were a team so all their wins and losses should be counted together.

“There are no teams, just shut up, Insoo,” Taehyun said tiredly as he looked over his tally marks on the chart he had drawn up in his Maths book.

“Okay, maybe we’re not a team,” Insoo allowed, “But we are one entity and should be treated as such!”

“You know that you’re really weird, right?” Taehyun asked.

“No weirder than-” Insoo looked around wildly until his eyes landed on Hyunmin. “Look at those two! Hyunmin and Sunghyuk are weirder than me! Look how codependent they are!”

“Leave us out of this,” Hyunmin said as sternly as he dared. Taehyun grinned.

“Nobody said anything about codependency but if you are aware of the situation you should try to fix it as soon as possible.”

Insoo spluttered but couldn’t retort before Eunki called him over and welcomed him with open arms and lots of insistence that there was nothing to fix.

Daehyeon ambled over to stand near Hyunmin after his victory over Kenta (who was bottom of the table without the benefit of Eunki and Insoo’s victories, as far as Hyunmin could tell). He looked a lot more cheerful. Sunghyuk was amazingly helpful to have made a change that big in Daehyeon’s mood!

“All that practice earlier did me some good,” Daehyeon noted happily.

“Is this the power of love?” Hyunmin asked. Daehyeon chuffed a bit and shrugged his shoulders.

“Maybe. But I never said that.”

“Are you really going to act coy now?” Hyunmin asked, jabbing Daehyeon in the ribs. Daehyeon returned the favour, giggly and buoyant about it.

“Do you suddenly want to know all my secrets? There are some things you can’t know until you grow up a bit and do manly things like fall in love.”

“Wow!” Hyunmin exclaimed. “You’re a man now too?”

“Who here is a man? I only see two squabbling toddlers,” Yongguk said as he picked at his nails. Hyunmin was totally not a squabbling toddler. To prove it, he kept his hands to himself and stood up straight so that he looked extra cool. Yongguk grinned and turned away to mutter something to Kenta. If anyone was a toddler it was Yongguk who only spoke up to be annoying.

At least Hyunmin could relax when Wontak came over and was something of a buffer between them as someone (who could have been Kiwon but it was difficult to tell because Hyunmin couldn’t see and this was the first time for him to hear this sound) wailed pathetically and someone else cackled raucously.

“So, Hyunmin, you like someone?”

Sunghyuk’s voice was quiet - too quiet when Hyunbin was trying to piggyback Taedong as part of the celebration for bringing Kiwon to his knees with a vicious defeat on the car racing game - but Hyunmin couldn’t pretend not to have heard. Sunghyuk was standing too close. It was strange to think of this proximity as too close because shoulder to shoulder, arm in arm, was the usual way they stood together. Right now, when Sunghyuk’s eyes shone with curiosity and the sharp scent of orange Fanta was wisping past Hyunmin’s nostrils with Sunghyuk’s breaths, he was too close.

Hyunmin shuffled away and apologised quietly when he jostled into Wontak and quickly looked back at Sunghyuk before he could be hypnotised into worshipping him just like his thousands of Instagram followers (and Daehyeon) did.

“I do like someone,” Hyunmin confirmed. Sunghyuk’s eyebrows shot up.

“Why didn't you tell me? We're the 99z! I'm -” Sunghyuk suddenly stopped talking and smiled tightly. He exhaled roughly and Hyunmin was sure he could taste the Fanta that Sunghyuk had drunk quarter of an hour ago. It was almost like kissing, but Hyunmin felt guilty about making the comparison when Sunghyuk finally said, “I'm your best friend, aren't I?”

Hyunmin’s eyes got stuck on the hand that was poised to reach out for him and all of a sudden the efforts Hyunmin had been putting into bringing them closer together meant nothing. They were tactile anyway so Sunghyuk had never shied away from being held tighter and told nice things more sweetly. They were best friends and that was what their closeness was. It was friendship and Hyunmin had made it into a commodity which would get him his own way. And it was stupid because he couldn't stop it now. If Hyunmin gave up on Sunghyuk and tried to get over these weird feelings, he wouldn't be able to stop touching Sunghyuk in the ways he had been. Even if he lost the habit of back-hugging him when they were standing outside their classroom or linking arms with him because he was cold, he wouldn't be allowed to stop because this was how their relationship was now.

Hyunmin grinned and hugged Sunghyuk to his side - he jovially patted his chest for good measure - and said, “Of course we're best friends! I was just waiting for the right time to talk about it!”

“If we're best friends then wouldn't any time be the right time? You should have told me first as soon as you knew you liked that person!”

“I will next time, I promise!” Hyunmin said sombrely. Sunghyuk didn't look too happy to hear that.

“Why does it have to be next time? Are you not going to try to go out with them?”

Sunghyuk was cute to be worrying like that. Hyunmin had been trying all along. Even though he was half-hearted and scared to do too much he had been trying. He shrugged because he shouldn't be making Sunghyuk concerned. “I don't think that person likes me much anyway.”

“How could someone not like you, Hyunmin?” Sunghyuk asked, scandalised. “You're really cool, you know! I bet if you tried to confess that person would fall in love with you right away! And then you could come on double dates with me and Seongri-hyung!”

Hyunmin laughed a bit too loudly and Daehyeon was distracted from covering up Taehyun’s eyes for long enough that he regained the lead over Donghan in the drag race. Hyunmin closed his mouth quickly and tried a more restrained smile. “That might prove to be a bit difficult.”

“Why would it?” Sunghyuk frowned. “Does that person hate Seongri-hyung? Or me? Is it that Naeun girl from across the road? If it's her I will tell her again that I didn't kick a football at her on purpose. And then she won't hate me and we can all be happy, right?”

“She's way too pretty for me!” Hyunmin needed to consider thinking before opening his mouth. He sort of implied that Sunghyuk wasn't very pretty so it was alright to like him. That wasn't what Hyunmin meant at all! He loved how Sunghyuk looked because he was really handsome and then he was cute when he laughed (a genuine laugh like when Hyunmin did impressions of cartoon characters, not the laugh he yanked out of his chest at Seongri’s convenience).

Sunghyuk looked thoughtful for a moment and frowned. “Oh. I think I know who it is.”

If there was ever a time for Hyunmin to become eloquent and suave (even just to tell Sunghyuk that he was handsome) it was right now as Sunghyuk’s lower lip jutted out and his brow furrowed. Unfortunately Hyunmin’s wish didn't come true so all he could say was, “You know?”

“Is it Seongri-hyung?”

“What?”

“Do you like Seongri-hyung?” Sunghyuk asked impatiently. Hyunmin hated how this was the moment that Seongri stopped ignoring Sunghyuk and looked his way. But for once Sunghyuk wasn't paying attention. His eyes were fixed on Hyunmin. “You can tell me!”

He looked so earnest and Hyunmin couldn’t be more glad that he did not like Seongri. There was no way he would have admitted it even if it was true. Hyunmin smiled. “Of course I don’t like him. It is someone else, I promise.”

Sunghyuk’s shoulders sagged. “You’re not going to tell me, are you?”

“I can’t,” Hyunmin said quietly.

“I need to go outside and get some air,” Sunghyuk muttered. His expression was carefully blank but it was obvious how unhappy he was about it. He was nothing at all like his usual self as he shoved past Hyunmin.

Kiwon made to go after him but Eunki pulled him into a hug and asked for his opinion on his chances of destroying Seongri at an array of the arcade games. Kiwon was suitably distracted and Hyunmin wondered why Eunki was helping him out like this. Hyunmin weaved through the other people at the arcade and caught up with Sunghyuk just as he dashed out of the door.

“Sunghyuk, are you alright?” Hyunmin asked. He knew that Sunghyuk had likely wanted to get away from him so it was unfair of him to grab Sunghyuk’s arm so tightly, but he would fix things after checking.

Sunghyuk stared at Hyunmin’s hand for a while before leading him further away from the entrance of the arcade. His face was set with determination when he raised his gaze to Hyunmin’s eyes.

“If it's Seongri-hyung that you like I won't stand in your way. I have liked him for a long time but I don't want you to be sad so if you want to try dating him I will help you.”

Hyunmin wasn’t sure whether that was the best or worst thing anyone had ever said to him. Sunghyuk was way too thoughtful. He said himself that he had liked Seongri for a long time so why should he have been so considerate of Hyunmin at a time like this? Sunghyuk was really too sweet. Hyunmin made sure to remember the sweetness from this exact moment before he opened his mouth and ruined everything.

“You really don’t have to worry about that, Sunghyuk. I know how much you like him. Everyone does. Sorry. So I wouldn’t ever compete with you over him. But I have been trying to compete with Seongri-hyung for a while.”

“What have you been competing over?” Sunghyuk asked. He tilted his head with pure confusion. It was sort of (very much so) the cutest thing Hyunmin had ever seen. “Hold on. _Everyone_ knows I like Seongri-hyung?”

“Pretty much.”

Sunghyuk groaned and sagged into Hyunmin’s chest. “I don’t believe it. I must look like such an idiot.”

“You don’t,” Hyunmin said confidently. “I look like even more of an idiot than you.”

“Why?” Sunghyuk grumbled.

“Everyone knows that you like someone but almost everyone knows that I like someone who likes someone else.”

Sunghyuk went very still before straightening his back and frowning at Hyunmin. “You’re going to tell me who you like?”

Hyunmin thought he had pretty much told Sunghyuk who he liked already. But he must have been too subtle about it. He nodded. “I’ll tell you. It’s you.”

“What’s me?”

“What?” Hyunmin blinked. “Am I not saying it?”

“Saying what? I’m so confused right now.”

Hyunmin was confused too. “I like you, Sunghyuk.”

Sunghyuk went very quiet. And then he went very red. And then his mouth opened and closed like a fish. A very cute and confused fish. Eventually, he said, “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Hyunmin agreed.

“Um. Why?”

It was valid question but Hyunmin wasn’t really sure how to answer it. He felt happy when he saw Sunghyuk’s happiness and he wanted to make Sunghyuk even happier whenever he could. And he wanted Sunghyuk to share sparks of his happiness and tell him secrets and tell him good news first and seek out Hyunmin specifically because he wanted him to be happy for him. And there weren’t just things that Hyunmin desired. He also liked the sound of Sunghyuk’s laugh and he liked his smile and he liked listening to him talk about even stupid things like that time in Biology when he was reading out a paragraph on beetles and kept pronouncing everything wrong. Hyunmin had absolutely loved it! He loved everything about Sunghyuk. What he actually said was: “I don’t know, I just want to kiss you a lot.”

“You want to kiss me?” Sunghyuk asked weakly.

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“Wow,” Sunghyuk said. “Do… Do you want to try now?”

“What!” Hyunmin’s voice was all sorts of wobbly and creaky. He would never have expected that to be the response.

“Sorry,” Sunghyuk said. “Is that weird?”

“It's really weird,” Hyunmin said. “Don't you like someone else? And all of a sudden you're asking to kiss me?”

Sunghyuk frowned for a minute but then his face smoothed out. “Oh! I'm not taking your feelings lightly or anything. I am actually very happy to hear that. I'm surprised but very happy.”

“You're happy?” Hyunmin asked.

“Yeah! I like being with you so I had sort of thought about it. You had me worried for a while though. I thought you really liked someone else,” Sunghyuk said quietly.

That was all well and good, but, “You actually do like someone else.”

Sunghyuk only looked a tiny bit guilty. “Sort of. I admire Seongri-hyung a lot but I don't think we could date or anything.”

“I’m sure you literally just mentioned me going on double dates with you and Seongri-hyung,” Hyunmin pointed out.

“I did,” Sunghyuk admitted, “But I didn't think that you might actually like me. Wait, this isn't a horrible joke, is it?”

Sunghyuk looked genuinely worried which was just silly!

“Why would I be joking about this? I have to listen to you going on about how amazing someone else is quite regularly. Surely that is the joke.”

Sunghyuk frowned again. “You don't sound very much like a person who likes me, you know.”

“What would you know?” Hyunmin asked hotly. He realised that he might have gone too far with a comment like that but Sunghyuk giggled softly.

“You're awful, Hyunmin. How could you say something so mean to me? There is only one way for you to make it up to me!”

Hyunmin gaped. Suddenly it had appeared: the elusive cute and flirty side of Sunghyuk that Hyunmin had been jealously awaiting. He wasn't really sure how to react to this (well, Hyunmin could think of one way but that involved sinking to his knees and sobbing his praises to every deity he could think of, but they were in public so that might be embarrassing).

“Um.” Hyunmin was painfully aware of how uncute and unflirty he sounded. It was the worst possible time for him to remember that much about himself, but if this was actually happening then Sunghyuk needed to get used to it. “How am I supposed to make it up to you?”

“Can't you guess?” Sunghyuk laughed and it was a sound that Hyunmin had heard so many times before. It wasn't the forced laugh that grated on Hyunmin’s nerves whenever he heard it. This was much nicer than the laugh Sunghyuk did especially for Seongri. This was a softer laugh but Sunghyuk’s eyes still scrunched up and his mouth spread wide open. This was just like the laugh when Hyunmin told a particularly bad joke or when they were getting changed for P.E. and Park Jihoon pointed out that Hyunmin’s underwear was inside out.

“If we weren't outside right now, I would kiss you,” Hyunmin said quietly.

Sunghyuk’s laugh tapered prettily and he kept smiling at Hyunmin.

“Should we go inside?”

“I can't kiss you in front of everyone!” Hyunmin hissed. “What if Seongri-hyung sees?”

Sunghyuk shrugged. “What would happen?”

Hyunmin was sort of thinking that Seongri might suddenly notice what he was missing out on. After seeing how happy and wonderfully in love Hyunmin was, Seongri could suddenly decide that he wanted to make Sunghyuk his and very easily sweep him away and end up being the person to kiss away all of Sunghyuk’s memories of Hyunmin. It would be heartbreaking and painful but it was something Hyunmin wouldn't be able to do anything about.

“It would be embarrassing,” Hyunmin said. He wasn't wrong. It would be embarrassing to be happy and to have that happiness snatched away by someone taller and better looking. Daehyeon must have cursed Hyunmin somehow.

“Why? Are you embarrassed that you like me?” Sunghyuk asked. “You don't want other people to know that you want to kiss me and hold my hand?”

“I want everyone to know that,” Hyunmin mumbled. “But you like someone else so it might just look like you're pitying me.”

Sunghyuk was already impossibly close but he brought them toe to toe and clutched at Hyunmin’s elbows. “Maybe people will think you're pitying me. Seongri-hyung doesn't like me at all. Don't roll your eyes, I mean it! I even confessed to him once and he told me that it would never happen.”

That was all very nice if Sunghyuk intended to make Hyunmin relax and let his guard down but it wasn't the best explanation. So, even though he was close enough to almost taste the tang of Fanta he had thought so much about earlier, and he was close enough to track the steadiness of Sunghyuk’s pupils, Hyunmin said, “But you have still been all over him.”

Hyunmin’s breath caught in his throat and he swallowed it down again with tremendous effort at the fact that Sunghyuk was still right with him. and then there was another lump to swallow when Sunghyuk flushed.

“This is a secret,” Sunghyuk whispered, “But I didn't want anyone to know that I was rejected. I thought if I changed my behaviour someone would guess what happened. And I didn't want Seongri-hyung to think that I only spoke to him because I fancied him.” Sunghyuk frowned like this was giving him some trouble but there was determination in his eyes. “I really like him as a person so I didn't want his feelings to be hurt.”

“That's very sweet of you,” Hyunmin said. “But just because you got rejected-”

“Stop talking about it!” Sunghyuk wailed. “I already told you it is a secret!”

Hyunmin huffed. It was difficult to stay serious when Sunghyuk was like this. But he had to try. “Alright, but just because that happened-” which Hyunmin didn't totally believe. Even if Seongri was so oblivious to Sunghyuk’s infinite charms it didn't seem right that he wouldn't be even a tiny bit enamoured by a confession. By rights, they should be dating and Hyunmin should be miserable “-it doesn't mean that your feelings vanished.”

“That's right,” Sunghyuk agreed. “But I had lots of feelings about lots of things and they didn't suddenly change because of one thing.” Sunghyuk pressed their noses together and Hyunmin was too surprised to flinch backwards, so he was stuck wondering how much of this glittering view he could take before his brain decided that if he was seeing heaven his heart might as well stop. His lungs still worked. He was alive. the person he liked was still staring into his eyes, way too close.

Hyunmin cleared his throat gently and he hated how softly Sunghyuk smiled at that. He leaned back, eyes drawn to the vacuum he created between their noses until being cross-eyed for so long made his eyes ache. he sighed. “I don't get what you're saying, Sunghyuk, but I like you enough to settle for being second best. I just want to know about it.”

Sunghyuk dropped his gaze but Hyunmin could still feel the focus in the grip Sunghyuk had on his elbows. However it didn't feel very focused when Sunghyuk changed the subject. “When we met on the first day of school, did you hate me because I got you into trouble?”

Hyunmin sighed again. He hadn't been able to summon enough indignation to hate Sunghyuk back then, and things were no different now. It was his own fault that he had been talking, desperately trying to find out information he hadn't been listening closely to, so he couldn't blame Sunghyuk for dobbing him in to the teacher. “I could never hate you.”

“But what about that time?” Sunghyuk asked quickly.

“I couldn't hate you then either.”

Sunghyuk nodded. The corners of his mouth pulled up but he didn't lift his gaze to Hyunmin. not yet. “I could hear the whole time, you know, when you were trying to ask people what my name was. I wanted to just tell you myself but I kept thinking about the way you had smiled at me just before and I got shy.”

“And then you told on me to the teacher,” Hyunmin supplied.

“And then I told on you to the teacher,” Sunghyuk agreed. And then he looked at Hyunmin properly and this almost-smile was enough that Hyunmin was on the verge of forgetting everything all over again. Except there was no way he could forget that he had been dazzled by Sunghyuk on the first day of school (and not even half an hour after deciding that Ong Seongwoo wasn't his type, Hyunmin's fourth first love was born), nor that he was probably weird for enjoying the way Sunghyuk would easily sling his arm over Hyunmin’s shoulder when he was sweaty and a bit smelly after playing football, nor the weightlessness that had carried him through that first day of scrubbing the school toilets after Sunghyuk called him his best friend for the first time. Hyunmin wasn't too proud to admit that he wanted this to be reserved just for him.

Hyunmin was so dazzled that he almost missed Sunghyuk start speaking again.

“I worried a lot about whether I had ruined our chance to be friends,” Sunghyuk said. “But you still came to talk to me. I was really happy from then! So I don't want you to think that I'm not genuinely glad that you said you like me, Hyunmin. I had given up waiting for something to happen. I genuinely liked Seongri-hyung too, but I thought that I should like him even more so that I wouldn't be a bother to you.”

Hyunmin understood all the words separately but they didn't really make much sense together like that. Well, they did make sense but it didn't really apply to the situation. Hyunmin had been having weird swoopy stomach aches for weeks, and he had been having funny chest spasms for even longer (and Yiseul had seen fit to inform Hyunmin and Joowon that it was all part of the same condition - love) because he liked his best friend. If Hyunmin was even more of an optimist he would be absolutely certain that Sunghyuk was implying something impossible. Hyunmin was trying to be serious and realistic because he shouldn't get his hopes up too much and he could take his time trying to get Sunghyuk to like him back.

A serious and realistic person would try to get all the facts, so Hyunmin said, “You made yourself like Seongri-hyung more? Because you thought you would have bothered me?”

Sunghyuk made a funny sound. it was like a very sad balloon being stepped on. A rubbery wheeze as he pouted at Hyunmin. “Yes!” Sunghyuk said, sounding more cross than a sad balloon had any right to be. “I thought he was cool anyway so he was a good distraction and you would still want me around. Why are you trying to make me say difficult things, Hyunmin? Wouldn't you rather kiss me instead of making me be embarrassing? If recall, you're the one who is confessing to me!”

“I’m not confessing!” Hyunmin said, even though it was not strictly true. He sighed. “Well, I am, but-”

“See!” Sunghyuk said triumphantly. “I've had these complicated feelings for so long and I tried to ignore them for the sake of our friendship, but all of a sudden you're saying you like me! Shouldn't you be the one trying to prove yourself to me and being stupid and embarrassing?”

Maybe Hyunmin was the sad balloon here. Forgotten after a child’s birthday party and wedged behind a cabinet and leaking out air through the atomic pores so that the deflated form is a bit soggy and wrinkly until being discovered by the family dog. Only being found isn't salvation because he is chewed and rolled on until the air is all gone and someone finds him and is disgusted by the limpness and the dog slobber so he is tossed away in this disgraced form instead of a more dignified farewell (a particularly boisterous child jumping onto an over-inflated balloon so the explosion startles the other children and only scraps of tattered plastic remained). Hyunmin definitely was a sad balloon because he couldn't breathe and the absence of oxygen must have stemmed from this neglect and mistreatment once the party ended. He coughed lightly and his head felt very tingly.

“You've liked me for a long time?”

Sunghyuk huffed. “Aren't you listening, Hyunmin? You must be doing this on purpose to annoy me now, and I understand that you must dislike the fact that I liked someone else and talked to you about it, but it was all because you smiled at me and asked me if I liked Messi. Which I do because he is amazing! You let me talk about how impressive it was that he became greatest footballer of all time after overcoming a childhood illness for way too long before I realised you didn't know anything about football at all! But you were always so sweet to me anyway and you would meet me after football practice and invite me to your house and you started to hold my hands and stuff and it really wasn't fair because I wanted to-”

Sunghyuk finally stopped talking with a strange garbled sound. Hyunmin fretted about choking hazards and how maybe he should have given some warning before planting his lips on Sunghyuk’s. But it sort of worked out because Sunghyuk relaxed a bit and broke the contact with a smile. He opened his mouth again and Hyunmin worried he was going to start talking again until Sunghyuk giggled shyly.

“What's so funny?” Maybe it was better for Sunghyuk to talk a lot because the laughing was unnerving.

“You just kissed me!” Sunghyuk said brightly.

Technically that was true, but Hyunmin was aware that it was probably the worst kiss anyone had ever had. Well, it was the worst kiss Hyunmin had ever had and the only competition this kiss had was the time when he was twelve and Choi Yoojung headbutted him in the mouth for a dare.

“I think I should try that again.”

“Again?” Sunghyuk squawked. “You want to kiss me again?”

Hyunmin frowned. It was only minutes ago that Sunghyuk had been goading him (flirtatiously, what a miracle) into kissing him. Now that Hyunmin had done a terrible job, he had gone all funny and pitchy.

“Should I not?”

“No. I mean, I want you to kiss me again but maybe in an hour or ten years when I have had enough time to recover from the first one.”

Hyunmin wasn't sure he could wait ten years between kisses but he would have to learn to be more patient in future. Hyunmin agreed and Sunghyuk smiled. He patted at the heat in his cheeks and then grabbed Hyunmin’s hands.

“We can do this for now. If you really mean that you like me.”

Hyunmin decided that ten years between kisses might not be long enough if he was going to be afflicted with constant stomach aches and heart palpitations because Sunghyuk was so cute and amazing.

They eventually went back inside the arcade and Hyunmin didn't even mind the fact that he could detect the siren scent of nachos and hot wings. Donghan could gorge himself all he wanted because Hyunmin was holding hands with the best person in the world! Hyunmin didn't even care that Insoo saw fit to loudly point this out to everyone.

“Sunghyuk, are your hands cold? Why are you holding hands with Hyunmin?”

Eunki leapt up from his seat with a glittering smile and pulled Hyunmin and Sunghyuk into a hug that made Hyunmin’s chest hurt.

“They always hold hands,” Kiwon said uncertainly. He was right, because they held hands a lot anyway, so for Insoo and Eunki to be making a fuss like this someone must have known something.

“This must be a different sort of hand holding,” Taehyun’s voice said from somewhere. When Eunki finally stopped trying to squeeze Hyunmin to death, he realised that Taehyun’s voice was coming from underneath Donghan who had sat on him for some terrible reason.

Hyunmin wasn’t sure this was a different sort of hand holding. It felt much the same as before, except Hyunmin kept looking at their joint hands and marvelling at how perfect this had always been.

It didn’t even matter that Seongri was smiling kindly at Sunghyuk. Sunghyuk grinned at Hyunmin and squeezed his hand tightly. “It’s different.”

Hyunmin supposed that it really was different.

When Daehyeon shuffled his seat aside so that there was space for Hyunmin and Sunghyuk to pull up seats he had a strange look on his face. They had arrived just in time for plates of pizza and fries to be served up (and Donghan looked crestfallen at not having a long enough reach to slap the food out of everyone else’s hands at once). There was a flurry of action as everyone dove in to grab some food and Daehyeon was still giving Hyunmin that strange look.

“What is is?” Hyunmin asked.

“Is this what you were asking me about earlier?” Daehyeon said quietly. “Is this why you wanted to know if you were undateable?”

Hyunmin noticed a stiffness to Sunghyuk’s actions as he nibbled at a slice of pizza. He was listening, but Hyunmin didn’t mind. He had been there all along when Hyunmin was being pathetic so this was no different. He nodded at Daehyeon. “This was the reason.”

Daehyeon smiled. “That’s a relief because I was worried about how to let you down gently.”

“I already said I didn’t want to date you,” Hyunmin grumbled. “I like Sunghyuk.”

There was a brush of something a bit damp against Hyunmin’s cheek and when he turned to look at Sunghyuk he saw that his friend was bright red as he wiped a smear of tomato sauce off Hyunmin’s cheek. He looked flustered but he wasn’t too unhappy as he said, “I like you too.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is way longer than i wanted it to be TT


End file.
